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These Rangers Must Die

A CDRR Song Parody (November 2002)

(A song parody based on the song "This Jesus Must Die" in the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar". To be more exact, it's based on the version sung in Gale Edwards tv-version.)

SCENE: A conference room in Fat Cat's Casino, where the Siamese Twins, Bubbles, and Rat Capone is gathered around a huge, neatly polished table. Fat Cat enters the room.

[Bubbles]
Good Fat Cat. The meeting waits for you.
The crooks and thieves are here for you.

[Fat Cat]
Oh, gentlemen. You know why we are here.
We've not much time,
And quite a problem here.

[Crowd outside, chanting]
Rangers superstars, Rangers superstars, Rangers superstars, Rangers superstars.

[Bubbles]
Listen to the howling mob of blockheads in the street.
A trick or two with gadgets and they sweep us off our feet.

[All]
They're dangerous.

[Crowd outside]
Rescue Rangers, superstars.

[All]
They are dangerous.

[Rat Capone]
That gang is in town right now,
to cut our business short.

[Siamese Twin One]
A rabble-rousing mission,
that I think we must abort.

[All]
They are dangerous.

[Crowd outside]
Rescue Rangers, superstars.

[All]
They are dangerous.

[Siamese Twin One]
Look, Fat Cat. They're right outside our yard!

[Siamese Twin Two]
Quick Fat Cat, go call the henchmen guard!

[Fat Cat]
Wait!
We need a more permanent solution to our problem...

[Bubbles]
What thing to do about the Rescue Rangers?
Miracle wondermen,
heroes of fools.

[Siamese Twin Two]
No riots,

[Siamese Twin One]
no misdeeds,

[Rat Capone]
no fighting, no crimes.

[Siamese Twin Two]
Nothing at all due to them and their tools.

[Bubbles]
We dare not leave them to their own devices.
Their halfwitted fans won't be bullied by us.

[Rat Capone]
But how can we stop them?
Their glamour increases,
by leaps every minute,

[Siamese Twin Two]
so we have to rush.

[Fat Cat]
I see bad things arising.
The crowd starts to love them,
which would hurt us bad.
I see blood and destruction,
our elimination because of this squad.
Blood and destruction,
because of this squad.

[All]
Because, because, because of this squad.
Our elimination because of this squad
Because, because, because of this,
'cause of this, 'cause of this squad.

[Siamese Twin One]
What thing to do about this rangermania?

[Bubbles]
How do we deal with these rodents of justice?

[Siamese Twin Two]
Where do we start with these guys,
who are interfering in all
evil schemes that we can come up with?

[Fat Cat]
Fools, you have no perception.
The stakes we are gambling,
are frightingly high.
We must crush them completely,
so like many before them, these Rangers must die!
For the sake of our business,
these Rangers must die.
Must die, must die,
these rangers must die

[All]
So like many before them, these Rangers must die!
Must die, must die,
these Rangers must, Rangers must, Rangers must die!


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